woensdag 30 september 2015

God, make me a wife day 10: Family

Hey all,

How are you doing? Still standing strong?
I have to admit that I feel a bit demotivated... I can feel/see/experience that God is coming closer but still... I am really tired, I feel like giving up this blog and a whole lot more (all negative of course). Luckily for me (and all of you going through though times right now) God is bigger than all of it! He is working very hard right now to bless all of us. We need to hang in there girlies!

Family, it is either your safe haven or your worse nightmare - there might be a grey area in between - but one thing is for sure, you were not able to choose them the moment you were born. I know that some of you may have had a very bad childhood with a father of mother that had problems with expressing their love or maybe even abusive situations. I am so sorry if that is you! Maybe you never got an apology from the family member that hurt you, on their behalf I want to say: Sorry! You deserved so much more than what happened to you, you deserved to be safe and to be loved and I am sorry you did not had the chance to fully experience that when you were younger.

A big step moving forward from family problems is to forgive, we spoke about that on day 8.    
We need to cover situations with love and have to understand that some situations are transitioning from one generation to the next. Some people just don't know any better and the cycle of abuse (all sorts!) is never broken. So we need to stand up against everything that is going from generation to generation, whether it is poverty, abuse, negative thoughts, bullying, addictions, divorces etc. We need to break this cycle - sorry devil, I will not let you stop  me! - and make sure that we are passing the right things on to our next generations, like loving marriages, healthy relationships, good educations, being free of debt, communication skills etc. I think you can name a few things that you would like to pass on to the next generation! Pray and say them out loud, tell the devil that you are not going to accept all the bad things from previous generations and that you are breaking the cycle.

Honor your parents

  • Ooh let me go straight to the how-to's ;-) read Exodus 20:12! It is in the 10 commandments, so it must be a major thing for a Godly women (and men)!
  • Honor them with your time - it might not be convenient for you but make a effort to let it be on their agenda. Visit them, call them, stay in contact with them. Yes that might be very difficult if they are living in a different country, if you are having kids, you or your spouse are having medical issues and not to mention financial situations! But you can try to contact them at least once a week! 
  • Say ' I love you'  on a regular base. My parents are not very generous when it comes to saying I  love you. I still find it hard to hear from friends that they love me because sometimes it feels like I am missing a solid foundation. But hey - let's break that negative cycle! Even when your parents don't say it very often, you can say it! So let us spread the love, especially if you do not feel like it. 
  • Show your appreciation, send/give them a small gift, write a handwritten letter, make a photo album etc. Be creative and show your appreciation, include something that really has value - nope not diamonds or a car (you can send these to me) - but a photo with on the back side a small note on how you felt on that occasion for example.
  • Don't expect ANYTHING in return from them! Expect God's promise for your land - Exodus 20 - but don't be discouraged if they don't return the love or favor. 
 Spend time with those who matter
Your kids matter, your husband matter, your friends matter, your parents matter, all your relatives matter. The guidelines above a example on how to treat your kids and family. If you have grown kids, give them a call to let them know that you are thinking about them, that they are important. Tell your loved ones that you love them. Have dinner together, enjoy life together.

Let us say I love you to those who really matter to us. Send them a hand-written card,  a small gift or make a phone call to see how they are doing. Honoring our parents (and loving our family) is a major thing for us women who want to be like Christ.

With love,

ps. Don't forget to pray that is the biggest gift that you can give to people!

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