zaterdag 31 oktober 2015

God make me a wife day 14: Hospitality Lunch + Showing who you really are

What if I tell you that God wants to see your real face?

Hello Ladies,

I completely forgot to put this blog post online! So sorry!
This is the last blog post and I was wondering if you liked this marathon.

I already placed some photo's from the Hospitality lunch on the FB page  and I absolutely enjoyed it. It was great to have a bunch women together and just to have casual and Godly talk.
For this last session I would like to share something that I shared with the ladies for the lunch at CuraƧao!

James 3:12 My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water. 

God doesn’t want you to be a fig tree were olives grow on. He wants you to be what you need to be, He doesn’t want you to portray yourself as someone that you are not.
Be the fig tree with figs or the grapevine with grapes.
Be the entrepreneur that you need to be.
Be the mom that your kids need.
Be the wife that your husband need.
Be the friend that the people around you need.
Be that hardworking woman on the work floor.
Be that woman that is called to do God’s work in whatever way that may be.

James is talking about a spring of flowing water, something that has movement. But he is also talking about an fig tree and grapevine, these are things that grow, blossom and bear fruit. He was not talking about a chair that thought he was a table. James knew that God sees us as fruit bearers. He knew that we have the capacity to blossom and that is how God wants to see us.
Not only wants God us to blossom, He also wants us to be who we are. That we don’t have to hide behind a mask or playing that everything is okay. He is the one who made us and He knows very well how we are stitched together. He knew us even before we were made in the womb. He already had a plan for your life before you were born. You are now on this day exactly were God wants you to be. You are here with a goal and it really wasn’t the plan for you to be alive 150 years ago.

You are you and in His eyes you are completely perfect. You can stand in the gifts and talents that He gave to you. You are an amazing beautiful woman and you are fully worthy. Nothing may ever come between you and these beautiful thoughts, but there is very big chance that you are the one who is holding you back. Thinking that you are not worthy, that you are lazy, that you will never find an husband, but God has a different opinion about that, He thinks that you are amazing and wants you to think that as well! Stop wearing a mask for God and the people around you.

Sometimes it’s easier to put on a mask and live/suffer your day-to-day life. Everything is done on auto pilot and why thinking about certain things and dealing with them when it is so much easier to act like that there is nothing going on. Maybe you are suffering from pain from the past. Something that happened a long time ago but it still hurts so now and then. So wearing a mask and using your auto pilot are the easiest and quickest pain killers. But pain produces pain and when you are acting out of hurt you are not acting out of your giving strength.

You are not living on full speed if you are a fig tree that is acting like a olive tree. God made you whole when He sent Jesus to earth. That is where you should act out of, knowing that God has made you whole and that you can be you. The fig tree that produces figs, the grapevine that produces grapes.

Thank you ladies!

Be blessed,
Mieke
X

zaterdag 3 oktober 2015

God make me a wife day 13: Take care of yourself

Hey Ladies,

I made a small mistake in the calendar! Day 14 is the day to finish the marathon, the closure is with a big bang - lunch and clothing/beauty products trade party. Are you organizing one or are you attending one?




I would love to share you some of my ideas about taking care of yourself.
Life can be so busy at times and we can completely forget about ourselves very quickly, but we need to take of ourselves because no else is going to do it for us. You are worthy of all the care you are giving yourself (or supposed to give yourself!)

Eat regular meals
It might be a bit easier to have regular meals if you are having kids, they need to eat so why not eat with them? Or have dinner with hubby when the kids are in bed. When you are single it might be taking a bit more effort to have your meals on a regular base. Never skip your breakfast because it is the kick start of your day - and God needs you today! Never skip lunch because you need it to carry on for the remainder of the day - yes God needs you in the afternoon as well. Never skip dinner because you love food - God wants you to enjoy your meals!
Having a regular eating pattern (as far as possible, if your job allows you to) is very important. You will feel more balanced if you eat regular - minus the candy and crisps etc - because your blood sugar level will stay more stable. Find a pattern that will work for you.
Sometimes I create a planning for what I am going to eat, this helps me to eat. There are days I go without food, simply because I don't have time with my job. I rush to work on a empty stomach and leave work with a empty stomach - maybe only having some chocolate and a bottle of water. I have to sit myself down and force myself to eat something, especially on the days I am not working.
You need yourself, so take good of yourself! Gave you this body to take care of, not to waste it.

Me time
We already spoke about this but just as a reminder, you deserve me time. You deserve having little beauty moments here and there. It will make you think better thoughts of yourself which will help you to feel better about yourself. Find space in your busy schedule and plan a Me evening!

The bigger picture
When it comes to taking care of yourself there are a few things that pop up in my mind:

  • dress nicely, don't dress yourself in clothes that will make you feel horrible about yourself. Why wearing that extremely oversized sweater what makes you look like a garbage bag? Wearing a sweater in your size will look way more better. Wearing nice clothes can be just as comfortable! 
  • skincare routine, take time to clean your face, moisturize and maybe a bit of make up if you want to. 
  • haircare, I just started the curly girl method (very interesting for girls that have wavy/curly hair! Find it on Google - info available in many languages!) always have a nice hairdo when you leave the house ;-) 
  • eating, you can't be the full version of yourself if your body has a lack of vitamins and energy. 
  • finances. stressing out over finances isn't what God enjoys, seriously! Have everything sorted out, how much comes in - to the last penny! What goes out - to the last penny! What can you do to pay off debts a bit quicker. Do you have a budget for your groceries?
  • relax time, it is important to have time to do nothing! Completely nothing - well maybe a facial mask - just reading the bible, a book, watching a movie. 
  • friends, what are the friends you are surrounding yourself with. Are they always there to support you? I have a lot of friends who do not go to church but as long as they have a  good influence on my life - nothing giving me rubbish advice on guys/work/life etc. - I love to have them close to me. I also have Christian friends were I can turn to if I need a different type of advice. Make sure that you have friends that will make you the best woman you can be! You don't need friends that will help you to be wasted every weekend, give you rubbish advice etc. Find people that will help you to become a better you. 
  • Quiet time and a relationship with God. Everything starts and ends with God, he knows you inside out and you need Him in your life if you truly care about yourself! 
  • don't take rubbish from people, don't ever let someone talk you down, don't ever accept if someone says that you are not worthy (well you are not worthy of having a cheating boyfriend etc.)! Don't ever let hate come into your life! Don't ever take abuse lightly! Don't ever accept being used as a doormat. Only accept the best! 
  • house, your house is fully worthy of being taken care of. You live there and you deserve a neat and cozy place. 
  • love, love yourself woman! 


Tomorrows blog post will be written at the end of the day with some photos and maybe even testimonies! 

If you are having a hard time taking care of yourself, start again with this marathon! Make a planning to take care of yourself ;-) 

Hope this marathon has helped you to come closer to God, yourself and your man (whether he is your hubby or that he is still unknown). 

Love,
Mieke 

God make me a wife day 12: Church

Hey Ladies,

*side note this one was supposed to be posted yesterday, sorry for the delay*

Church, I love going to church!
It has become an habit to go to church every Sunday or at least how much as possible (with my roster). I have made this statement that if I say that God is my number One then I always have to show that He is. So when I had a very long (night) flight the day before, a huge delay what caused me to be home just a few hours before church start, when I am feeling tired and want to sleep in, I just say to myself He is more than you, He deserves your time and effort.
I always try to the plan the day a bit when it is my first day off - after five days of continues flying - I know that I will be tired and maybe a bit grumpy as well, so I don't plan a lunch with friends or family visits afterwards. I go straight to home, have a light meal and take a nap. Going to church is more valuable for me than sleeping in. I can sleep when I am old and I can take naps. Church is way more important, because it is my way of showing God that I am willing take action if it comes to showing Him that I love Him. That I love him more than sleeping in, than I love myself etc.

Church is also family, it really feels like coming home after a hard week of working. I find it very important to be part of something that is bigger than me. When I am in church I can spend my time serving Him in a sacred place. I love doing Kids Church or working behind the scenes - doing the things that no one sees but God - I love to devote my time for His work. Being part of something bigger helps me to stay. Sometimes we are so blinded by everything that is 'wrong' in the church and if someone hurts us you might want to leave. But being loyal and spending time on his work, helps me to stay. It helps me to keep my eyes on the prize and also helps me to remind why I am in this church, simply because He told me too.

Find a church that 'fits' you, has the same core values and were you feel at home. It might be time to find a church or to find a different church. God was very clear to me when it comes to churches. I was a volunteer in a church and I did a LOT of things there, I was there almost every single day, was part of kids church, the canteen, I guess every single area. Then one day God said I had to leave as He already left that church a very long time ago. I was absolutely shocked to say the least. My world revolved around the church and not around God. When church wasn't longer my priority (I lost my job around the same time) I had simply no flipping idea what I had to do with my spare time. I barely didn't know how to pray at home (as I was in church almost every single day - I did the mayor of my praying in church) I didn't had a relationship with Him. I was absolutely certain that I was a good christian but quiet time was something that was very much unknown to me.

However God did speak to me so now and then when I was in the desert (how I call my 3 years without a church - He also spoke to me while I was in the church, so I was familiar with his voice) after more than three years He told me to go to church. A few weeks before I spoke with a old classmate and he gave me a few names of churches in my surroundings. I asked God which one and he named one. That is why I am so sure that I need to be in a certain church.

*I am not an evangelist for a specific church, so I don't say names :) *

If you don't feel at home in your church it might be very hard for you to stay loyal or to even show up. Just ask God what He wants you to do!

Do you feel at home in your church? How do you stay loyal?

With love,
Mieke

donderdag 1 oktober 2015

God, make me a wife day 11: Husband

Hey ladies,

I have been looking forward to this blog posts since day 1! Talking about 'the Husband'. My thinking about having a husband and being a wife has been transformed since I started this Marathon. Your reactions on FB and face-to-face are really touching me. I am so in awe with what God is doing, let us persevere ladies,because the best is yet to come.

There are a few topics that I would love to address today:

  • Pray for your husband, boyfriend, fiance or future husband
  • Being submissive
  • Make him your priority
  • Your pledge to be the best wife you can be
Today's verse 2 Peter 3:18 NLT
Rather, you must grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. All glory to him, both now and forever! Amen. 

I would like to share a bit of my day routine for today. At 06.00 my Airport Standby duty started, this means that I need to be at the airport (airside - behind the security and passport control) and being reachable. You can decide yourself how you want to spend your time (06.00-12.00 duty). So today I brought my laptop and my glitter sweater with me, this gives me the opportunity to work on this marathon! We like to call the Airport Standby duty the Airport Surprise duty as you never know if they will call and were you are off to.
 
This is the crewroom provided by the airline I work for

Pray for your husband, boyfriend, fiance or future husband
Whether you are married, single, dating or engaged, you can implement this in your life. The power of a praying woman is gigantic - what do I say - immense! Especially when this prayer is done with a heart full of love. Your heart towards the (future) mister will change drastically, you will find it easier to love him, covering his shortcomings with grace and love. To cut it short - Prayer will change you my precious friend. We don't have the power to change our mister, that is totally up to God, we also shouldn't seek the power to change him. Even when he is wrong, has a temper, doesn't give you the attention you need/deserve, works too much etc. This list is endless of course but we as woman should always focus on the positive! Not that you have to keep your mouth shut if you see that something is going on or if he is talking you down etc. 
Make praying for your Mister (even when you are single) a priority. He needs it, you need it! If you find it hard to pray for him or if you don't know what to pray for make a list with different subjects. You pick one or two everyday and if you have enough subjects you can use this list for a very long time! Sit down and write down some subjects, let me give you some inspiration here are 20!
- his wife
- his work
- his friends
- his fatherhood
- his love life
- his manliness
- his insecurities
- his family
- his sex life (what... yes!)
- his ambitions
- his past
- his relationship with God
- his role in the church
- his spiritual growth
- that he will always do good (to you. the kids and others) 
- his marriage 
- his finances
- his hobby 
- his thoughts 
- his heart
Oh I could continue this list, asking God to make his heart beat for others, that he is always willing to do things in the house, that he is always willing to help in the church, that he might be generous etc. This list is most definitely longer than the list with your mister's shortcomings. When you feel like your hubby doesn't deserve all the prayers, just think about what Jesus did for you. You didn't deserved that but it changed your life around, didn't it? You might be the prayer warrior in your household, you might be the only one praying in your marriage, you might get nothing in return but it is our duty as a woman/wife to pray non-stop. 
God is our refuge and strength,
always ready to help in times of trouble. Psalms 46:1 NLT

Being submissive 
My favorite subject - oooh look a airplane - just kidding! The thought of being submissive to someone makes me a bit afraid. This might be the worldly way of thinking, God doesn't want us to be anxious about anything. So let us think about what submissive can look like. 
Your husband wants to go to the mall, but you just decided to have a relax moment. What will you do? Let's say you have three options:
A. Ask him to plan that a different time, that you would love to join him but that you just planned a relax moment. 
B. You say: 'Yes great idea let's do that' and plan your relax moment for later that day.
C. You tell him to find someone else to go with him.

Solely focusing on being submissive it will be answer B that is 'right' but let us spend a bit more time on all the answers. Answer A is honest and upfront with your hubby, it shows that you can communicate with each other, when you are pregnant or sick etc this would be the 'right' answer. 
*side note - there is no particular 'right' answer* 
But there is a definite downside to this answer, it shows that you place yourself and your relax time above your husband. When you don't have the possibility to spend a lot of time together this will cause to drive you further apart. It is very important to spend time together, even when it is only going to the mall together. 
Answer B shows that you are willing to set your will aside and be submissive to his will. You encourage him to come up with ideas and spending time together because you responded enthusiastically. You show him that you appreciate his ideas! 
Answer C you might be very annoyed or even angry because of something that happened earlier. The chance that he will ask you anytime soon to do something with him is very small. 

This is just an example but situations like this happen all the time. When you are single (like me) I would recommend to have a think about situations that would ask for submissiveness and ask yourself if you are able and willing or be submissive. When you are married I would like to ask you to pray about this. Are there more areas in your life were you can be more submissive? 

Make him your priority
Life can be hectic especially when you both have a job and kids. The kids consume a lot of your energy and at the end of the day you are just exhausted by running after them. Your normal day to day life exist of being their taxi driver, cooking meals and cleaning. Somewhere around 6 PM you hear the front door, a hysterical 6 year old yells "DADDY", you see your husband coming in the kitchen where you almost finished cooking, a screaming toddler hanging on your left leg and with a quick kiss on the cheek you greet your hubby. Even writing this makes me already tired and a bit sad! Your husband has to be really high priority on your list. Like really high! Above the kiddos - because they will leave the house one day. 
Try to give this day fully to him, make sure that the kids are ready to welcome daddy into the house, have them clean up their toys, get them excited and try (at least) to have dinner finished before he is in. When your mister is working regular hours that might be doable, otherwise let him call you so you know when to expect him. Greet him with a big hug and kiss, telling him that you are happy to see him, prepare something he likes for dinner, wear something sexy/attractive, tuck the kids in early so you have time to spend together. Change the atmosphere in house by making him a priority! 

Your pledge to be the best wife you can be
I daydream a lot about being married and being someones wife, it is always freaking awesome and we are sooo in love. I even love cleaning the house, washing his dirty socks and our love/bedroom life (not even only the bedroom) is totally amazing. Couldn't be any closer to real life, right?! *sarcasm mode off* 
I know that married life isn't about being ridiculously happy and being busy in the bedroom  all the time. It is coping with each others shortcomings, finding out that you have been very egocentric the last few years as a single woman. That being said, God is in all of it. He is in your shortcomings, He is in your happiness, He knows that you are ready for this journey. So why not make a pledge? 
Write down the wife you want to be, make it realistic, you might remember this from day 1 but you are not superwoman! Write down the things you promise God about your marriage. This has nothing to do with hubby (or maybe a little bit) this is about you and God. Build your dreams, hopes and marriage on Him and He will be the stable factor and supplier that you need. 
Write down your promises of dressing nicely, praying daily, honoring your husband etc. 

I hope that you enjoyed this blog post, I know that all situations are very different, when you are in an abusive marriage I would suggest to seek help (while praying). I do not have the secrets for a happy marriage (as I am not even married!) but I do know that God is able to change everything around. 
Once again if you or your kids are in danger if you stay with your husband, please find help! Sometimes praying isn't enough and you need interfering from skilled people.  

With love,
Miss Daydream aka Mieke 

woensdag 30 september 2015

God, make me a wife day 10: Family

Hey all,

How are you doing? Still standing strong?
I have to admit that I feel a bit demotivated... I can feel/see/experience that God is coming closer but still... I am really tired, I feel like giving up this blog and a whole lot more (all negative of course). Luckily for me (and all of you going through though times right now) God is bigger than all of it! He is working very hard right now to bless all of us. We need to hang in there girlies!

Family, it is either your safe haven or your worse nightmare - there might be a grey area in between - but one thing is for sure, you were not able to choose them the moment you were born. I know that some of you may have had a very bad childhood with a father of mother that had problems with expressing their love or maybe even abusive situations. I am so sorry if that is you! Maybe you never got an apology from the family member that hurt you, on their behalf I want to say: Sorry! You deserved so much more than what happened to you, you deserved to be safe and to be loved and I am sorry you did not had the chance to fully experience that when you were younger.

A big step moving forward from family problems is to forgive, we spoke about that on day 8.    
We need to cover situations with love and have to understand that some situations are transitioning from one generation to the next. Some people just don't know any better and the cycle of abuse (all sorts!) is never broken. So we need to stand up against everything that is going from generation to generation, whether it is poverty, abuse, negative thoughts, bullying, addictions, divorces etc. We need to break this cycle - sorry devil, I will not let you stop  me! - and make sure that we are passing the right things on to our next generations, like loving marriages, healthy relationships, good educations, being free of debt, communication skills etc. I think you can name a few things that you would like to pass on to the next generation! Pray and say them out loud, tell the devil that you are not going to accept all the bad things from previous generations and that you are breaking the cycle.

Honor your parents

  • Ooh let me go straight to the how-to's ;-) read Exodus 20:12! It is in the 10 commandments, so it must be a major thing for a Godly women (and men)!
  • Honor them with your time - it might not be convenient for you but make a effort to let it be on their agenda. Visit them, call them, stay in contact with them. Yes that might be very difficult if they are living in a different country, if you are having kids, you or your spouse are having medical issues and not to mention financial situations! But you can try to contact them at least once a week! 
  • Say ' I love you'  on a regular base. My parents are not very generous when it comes to saying I  love you. I still find it hard to hear from friends that they love me because sometimes it feels like I am missing a solid foundation. But hey - let's break that negative cycle! Even when your parents don't say it very often, you can say it! So let us spread the love, especially if you do not feel like it. 
  • Show your appreciation, send/give them a small gift, write a handwritten letter, make a photo album etc. Be creative and show your appreciation, include something that really has value - nope not diamonds or a car (you can send these to me) - but a photo with on the back side a small note on how you felt on that occasion for example.
  • Don't expect ANYTHING in return from them! Expect God's promise for your land - Exodus 20 - but don't be discouraged if they don't return the love or favor. 
 Spend time with those who matter
Your kids matter, your husband matter, your friends matter, your parents matter, all your relatives matter. The guidelines above a example on how to treat your kids and family. If you have grown kids, give them a call to let them know that you are thinking about them, that they are important. Tell your loved ones that you love them. Have dinner together, enjoy life together.

Let us say I love you to those who really matter to us. Send them a hand-written card,  a small gift or make a phone call to see how they are doing. Honoring our parents (and loving our family) is a major thing for us women who want to be like Christ.

With love,
Mieke

ps. Don't forget to pray that is the biggest gift that you can give to people!

dinsdag 29 september 2015

God, make me a wife day 9: people in need

Hey lovelies,

How are you doing today?!
I love the stories throughout the bible were Jesus was helping people or the story of the good Samaritan. It is absolutely great to know that there are people out there who are willing to help.

When you think about people in need and helping them what are the first thoughts that come up to you? Is it about giving money or material things? Maybe giving them a helping hand when they are moving to a different house?

People in need is such a broad and wide subject. It can mean so many things, so I just want to share some of my thoughts with you. At first I think that there are people in need everywhere! Whether they are Christians or not, living in the poorest country of the world, using drugs or whatever. People need help!

I love to help, I might need not be the most generous person in the world, but when it comes to helping others I am totally in my zone. I love helping a pregnant friend with some things she is not able to do anymore, because of her belly. The woman on the street with the little girl that really needs to go to the toilet but she is standing in the line with her groceries. Going to a different country to help a primary school with fun activities. Helping out a friend who is in financial need.

Praying and asking God to open up your eyes to see the needs of others is absolutely the first step in the process. You might also want to pray for your heart because it isn't always that great ;-) sometimes it takes a lot of time, effort and energy to help someone. Ooh and you might get nothing in return! You can find people in need everywhere, sprinkle Gods kindness everywhere you go!

This is all for today! Yest shortest blogpost EVER! Go out and help others, don't wait for them to come to you. Send some of your friends a message and see how they are doing. Even when you are doing your grocery shopping you can find people that need help, it might be reaching for a product on the top shelf because an elderly woman can't reach that high anymore.

Open up your eyes, reach out to other and sprinkle the kindness!

I know you can do this!

With love,
Mieke

maandag 28 september 2015

God, make me a wife day 8: Inner peace

Hey all,

It is already a week that we are busy now with this marathon and how are you holding up? Do you like it so far? Today's subject is probably the hardest one of all because it is about what is inside us. Time to remove the clutter from our heart and revealing who we really are in Christ.

Anyone? 

When it comes to peace I always think about multiple things like: having everything in order, not being worried, being calm, being happy, being in love (with myself and God). It most definitely helps when my house is clean, when I have a day off, when work runs smoothly, when my fridge is full and my friends are happy. I have to admit that doesn't happen to me on a daily basis ;-) so I have a few other things that really help me.